How to Utilize Your Vulnerability
Lessons learned from Brené Brown’s “The Power of Vulnerability.”
You can’t avoid one emotion without numbing yourself to all the rest. If you want to allow yourself to feel joy and passion, you must simultaneously permit yourself to feel sadness and shame.
Brené Brown discusses her fascinating research about shame and worthiness and identifies how truly interconnected it all is. She explains that the people who she named ‘Whole-Hearted,” who felt like they were worthy of being loved, were the same people who welcomed discomfort and vulnerability into their lives.
In order to feel a connection with other people, you need to first connect with yourself. And this means connecting with your full self, even the parts you rather not think about. Thankfully, these whole-hearted people who are successful at connecting with others, have left us with some tips for how to let ourselves become more accepting, and expecting, of love.
- View vulnerability as necessary. Don’t attach meaning to the moment that makes you vulnerable, don’t label it as good or bad, but view it as something that makes you, You.
- Accept that you are worthy of connection. It’s hard but just do it. Fake it ‘til you make it if you must.
- Be courageous! Let your imperfections shine through. Allow yourself to be seen for who you really are. . Fun fact: “The root of the word courage is cor — the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, […] courage meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”
- Follow the pursuits that make you more vulnerable. Take the plunge, say “I love you first,” apply for that job and voice your truth!
In Brené Brown’s Ted Talk, The Power of Vulnerability, she outlines the above points as characteristics of people who successfully connect with others. It’s exciting to realize that in order to connect with others, we need to first connect with ourselves. And I definitely see this is in my own life. I know, as a general rule that I’ve set for myself, if I want to connect with someone new, I need to show them my vulnerability. Showing your authentic self to someone is a great way to instantly break the ice because it’s code for “You are also allowed to be yourself.”
Once you can feel love and compassion for your own vulnerabilities, you can feel love and compassion for the people around you, and just watch, they’ll start loving and accepting you right back!
So, for the sake of the people around you, accept yourself, and love yourself!
