How to Show Love, Better
Finding the right way to show love and appreciation differs from person to person.
How do you show people that you love them? I find I’m constantly thinking of new ways to show appreciation to those around me, and to me, that means taking action.
While thanking someone for dinner is great and is always (hopefully) appreciated, I feel I haven’t properly shown my gratitude until I help to clean up. When staying at another person’s home (in non-pandemic days), I try to find ways to be helpful around the house, bring in the groceries, offer to help out with chores, and do anything to remind the generous host that I am not taking their hospitality for granted.
I probably choose to show my love for others through actions because actions are in fact, my preferred way to be shown love and appreciation. But what if the person I’m trying to say thanks to, actually doesn’t want me going near their dirty dishes?
What if you spend your whole day writing poetry for your dad as a way to show him love, when really, he much rather you spend quality time helping him in the garden?
It’s crucial to take the time to understand the person that you’re trying to show gratitude to, learn what they are like and what their values and preferences are. If there is someone in your life who constantly showers you with praise and positive affirmations, that is probably how they would like to be appreciated in return.
Really watch the person to see how they show love to others. There’s a pretty good chance that that’s their love language!
Dr. Gary Chapman outlines that there are 5 love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
My favorite Love Languages to receive are definitely Quality Time and Acts of Service, which is why I fall to those 2 languages as ways of showing my love for others. But what if the person I wish to show gratitude for, would actually prefer receiving a thoughtful gift? This is why, if you want to genuinely show love and gratitude to someone, pay attention to how the people in your life show appreciation, and then return the favour in their own language!
In the case of showing love, don’t treat your neighbour as you’d like to be treated, but actually treat them the way they would like to be treated!
Until next time, Friends! Xo